Escrever poemas é totalmente o tipo de coisa que, só porque você pode fazer, não significa que você deva.

Limericking

Alguns meses atrás eu descobri uma conta americana do Twitter  (@limericking) que dá as notícias em forma de poema. Especificamente, um tipo de poema chamado limerick, que tem 5 versos, esquema de rimas AABBA, métrica 9-9-6-6-9 e é geralmente usado pra sátira, humor bobinho ou surrealista. Eu achava o flow dos poemas muito bom, e achava geniais os poeminhas com notícias, mas fiquei meses sem tentar me aventurar a fazer um. Ontem eu tentei pela primeira vez, e surpreendentemente saíram vários em sequência. Decidi postar aqui os que eu achei mais engraçados ou inocentes.

Sobre o filme da Kéfera*:
A nation-renowned children's writer
Thought movies might be a good idea
But horrible casting
Made such a disaster
It makes you stop and wonder "why, dear?"

Sobre um evento recente na política brasileira:
Um político irreverente
Que já quer virar presidente
Quando questionado
Da verba do Estado
Disse que usa pra comer gente

A premissa de Evangelion resumida:
A teenage boy known as the third child
Was called to fight angels, who were wild
Destroying the city
But the boy just stopped and said
"No, please, not me, I am too mild"

A premissa de Rocky Horror resumida:
Two regular folks, Brad and Janet
Not having, of course, before planned it
Wound up on a castle
Of a sweet transvestite
Who was from a whole other planet

Eu não sei se a inspiração vai continuar nos próximos dias/meses, mas eu tô achando que vou acabar escrevendo mais. Tá muito divertido. E eu quero aperfeiçoar o formato também (alguns versos saíram da métrica, algumas rimas não foram exatas, acho que isso se treina com o tempo).

*Sobre o filme da Kéfera, eu fiquei realmente incomodada, por um motivo bem específico. O filme é supostamente baseado no livro da Thalita Rebouças "Uma fada veio me visitar". Eu li o livro quando era pequena e achei lindo, de verdade. É uma história bem sensível sobre amizade e sobre tentar não julgar os outros de antemão, construir pontes, ser mais aberto a relacionamentos.

E aí a Thalita deu uma licença para escreverem um filme... horrendo. Eu só vi o trailer e já quase morri de desgosto, mas um amigo meu viu o filme inteiro e me contou em detalhe como é, e aparentemente consegue ser pior do que o trailer sugere. E não tem todo esse plot central da história original, sobre amizades e tudo. E a atuação da Kéfera só consegue piorar as coisas, tornando o filme mais Sessão da Tarde e esquecível do que já seria normalmente.

Eu tento não ser dessas pessoas "esse novo filme estragou minha infância!!1!", mas tenho que me permitir um minuto de silêncio sobre o potencial que esse filme tinha e como ele foi brutalmente enterrado.

Rise O Days from Your Fathomless Deeps

1

RISE O days from your fathomless deeps, till you loftier, fiercer sweep,
Long for my soul hungering gymnastic I devour'd what the earth gave me,
Long I roam'd the woods of the north, long I watch'd Niagara pouring,
I travel'd the prairies over and slept on their breast, I cross'd the Nevadas, I cross'd the plateaus,
I ascended the towering rocks along the Pacific, I sail'd out to sea,
I sail'd through the storm, I was refresh'd by the storm,
I watch'd with joy the threatening maws of the waves,
I mark'd the white combs where they career'd so high, curling over,
I heard the wind piping, I saw the black clouds,
Saw from below what arose and mounted, (O superb! O wild as my heart, and powerful!)
Heard the continuous thunder as it bellow'd after the lightning,
Noted the slender and jagged threads of lightning as sudden and fast amid the din they chased each other across the sky;
These, and such as these, I, elate, saw—saw with wonder, yet pensive and masterful,
All the menacing might of the globe uprisen around me,
Yet there with my soul I fed, I fed content, supercilious.

2

'Twas well, O soul—'twas a good preparation you gave me,
Now we advance our latent and ampler hunger to fill,
Now we go forth to receive what the earth and the sea never gave us,
Not through the mighty woods we go, but through the mightier cities,
Something for us is pouring now more than Niagara pouring,
Torrents of men, (sources and rills of the Northwest are you indeed inexhaustible?)
What, to pavements and homesteads here, what were those storms of the mountains and sea?
What, to passions I witness around me to-day? was the sea risen?
Was the wind piping the pipe of death under the black clouds?
Lo! from deeps more unfathomable, something more deadly and savage,
Manhattan rising, advancing with menacing front—Cincinnati, Chicago, unchain'd;
What was that swell I saw on the ocean? behold what comes here,
How it climbs with daring feet and hands—how it dashes!
How the true thunder bellows after the lightning—how bright the flashes of lightning!
How Democracy with desperate vengeful port strides on, shown through the dark by those flashes of lightning!
(Yet a mournful wail and low sob I fancied I heard through the dark,
In a lull of the deafening confusion.)

3

Thunder on! stride on, Democracy! strike with vengeful stroke!
And do you rise higher than ever yet O days, O cities!
Crash heavier, heavier yet O storms! you have done me good,
My soul prepared in the mountains absorbs your immortal strong nutriment,
Long had I walk'd my cities, my country roads through farms, only half satisfied,
One doubt nauseous undulating like a snake, crawl'd on the ground before me,
Continually preceding my steps, turning upon me oft, ironically hissing low;
The cities I loved so well I abandon'd and left, I sped to the certainties suitable to me,
Hungering, hungering, hungering, for primal energies and Nature's dauntlessness,
I refresh'd myself with it only, I could relish it only,
I waited the bursting forth of the pent fire—on the water and air
I waited long;
But now I no longer wait, I am fully satisfied, I am glutted,
I have witness'd the true lightning, I have witness'd my cities electric,
I have lived to behold man burst forth and warlike America rise,
Hence I will seek no more the food of the northern solitary wilds,
No more the mountains roam or sail the stormy sea.

- Walt Whitman

Pobreza

I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

J.K. Rowling, em discurso proferido em Harvard em 2008

Cultura

"La mejor política cultural es no tener ninguna. Defender a nuestra cultura. Siempre se considera la cultura como algo débil, como algo frágil, como algo raquítico que necesita ser custodiado, protegido, promovido y subvencionado. La cultura es indestructible, capaz de sobrevivir a las peores hecatombes. Hubo una tribu salvaje en África en cuyo lenguaje no existía la palabra libertad. ¿Saben por qué? Porque eran libres. Creo que la palabra cultura siempre sale de la boca de la gente más ignorante, más estúpida, más peligrosa. Yo personalmente no la uso nunca."

- O Cidadão Ilustre, filme escrito por Andrés Duprat

“You fight your superficiality, your shallowness, so as to try to come at people without unreal expectations, without an overload of bias or hope or arrogance, as untanklike as you can be, sans cannon and machine guns and steel plating half a foot thick; you come at them unmenacingly on your own ten toes instead of tearing up the turf with your caterpillar treads, take them on with an open mind, as equals, man to man, as we used to say, and yet you never fail to get them wrong. You might as well have the brain of a tank. You get them wrong before you meet them, while you're anticipating meeting them; you get them wrong while you're with them; and then you go home to tell somebody else about the meeting and you get them all wrong again. Since the same generally goes for them with you, the whole thing is really a dazzling illusion. ... The fact remains that getting people right is not what living is all about anyway. It's getting them wrong that is living, getting them wrong and wrong and wrong and then, on careful reconsideration, getting them wrong again. That's how we know we're alive: we're wrong. Maybe the best thing would be to forget being right or wrong about people and just go along for the ride. But if you can do that -- well, lucky you.”
― Philip Roth, American Pastoral

A cena da terapia em rick and morty

Therapist: Why didn't you want to come here?

Rick: Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist.

Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it.

And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything.

I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself.

I'm not a cow.

I'm a pickle When I feel like it.

So you asked.

Therapist: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness.

You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse.

And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control.

You chose to come here, you chose to talk to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle.

You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces.

Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand.

I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass.

Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure.

There's no way to do it so wrong you might die.

It's just work.

And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die.